What’s Your Attitude?

For years, a clock greeted me when I walked into my kitchen. 

Perhaps you, like me, start your day there. Getting coffee, getting breakfast, getting the first news. Perhaps you, like me, end you’re your day there too. Wiping down counters, prepping the next morning’s coffee, closing the laptop and heading to bed. 

Last summer I started taking a closer look at the objects I look at everyday. On the walls in my kitchen, my bedroom, my office. What surrounds me influences me. What I am taking in shapes my outlook. 

I decided that when it came to my kitchen, I didn’t want to be greeted by the ticking away of time each morning. I’m aware of the time, almost all the time, thanks to my perfectionist tendencies when it comes to punctuality. 

In the room where I take in food to nourish my body, I wanted my eyes to take in some nourishment for my soul. 

So, I took down the clock. Well, to be truthful, someone who I love and who loves me did it for me, as a gift. I came home from worship one Sunday morning and found the above word art where my clock used to be.

That filled me with love, joy and gratitude, and still does. Every morning and every night I see it, I look at it, I take it in. And I know it supports a way of being that matters more than being on time. It invites me to take a moment and reflect on my attitude, what’s going on inside me right, this, moment. 

This sounds easy to do. But it isn’t. And it’s one reason I believe Matthew’s Jesus is so forceful about introspection in this Sunday’s gospel. In a variety of most difficult circumstances, death, divorce, courtrooms, Jesus insists we look inside and examine our attitude before we speak, let alone act.  

But we can’t forget my preaching friend, that Jesus has already told us what we will find inside if we look deep enough: Blessed are you. You are light. You are the light of the world. That is what’s inside.

That is where this teaching started in the beginning of this chapter. Jesus reminding the crowds about their God-given nature, their being, their inherent worthiness. He started with the good stuff.  I’m not saying this part isn’t good, but it’s good in the way that therapy is good.  Good for you, but really hard. 

Examining what’s inside, examining what we are nurturing and cultivating within us, is a discipline that we choose. And it’s a discipline that never ends. It is discipleship. 

I hear a summary of these teachings a bit later, when Jesus says, “Before you point out the speck in your neighbor’s eye, examine the log in your own.” (Matt 7:3) How else can we be agents of reconciliation? Which is what, in these most difficult circumstances, he is asking us to be. 

In our relationships and interactions, some of us are quick to judge. Sometimes we are quick to criticize and condemn. We are quick to look at someone else and define ourselves based on how we are different, better than, not as good, etc. We are experts at comparing our insides to other people’s outsides so that we can feel better, or, feel worse. 

You are blessed. You are light. Which means, once you “see” yourself judging, condemning, arguing, swearing, etc., it’s time to examine your attitude. I see value in briefly explaining the historical, cultural and societal expectations in Matthew’s time around courts, marriage, divorce, familial relationships and bearing false witness; but, I do not think that is the heart of this gospel.

Our hearts are the heart of this gospel. God wants our heart. In order to make amends, we give our hearts. In order to welcome someone back into our lives when we’ve been betrayed, we open our wounded hearts. Sometimes, even to acknowledge our wrongs or the wrongs done to us requires a compassionate excavation that takes years. There are words in this gospel that will ring in the ears of our congregants very differently from the way Matthew’s hearers would have taken them in. You know this, my preaching friend. So, I say get to the heart of the matter.

What are your practices of self-examination? In what ways do you look inward, when it would be easier to react and take out your anger, frustration or hurt on someone else? What do you keep close to your eyes and ears to help you examine your attitude and inner landscape, each day? What do you work at, spiritual leader that you are? What story might you share of finding the blessing, the gratitude, the light within that helped you reconcile relationships in your life?

Across from my desk in my office I used to stare at my beautifully framed seminary diploma. My name boldly adorned with a calligraphy of Latin phrases I can’t even understand. I moved it. Now I stare at a simple bulletin board with an excerpt from 1 Corinthians 13 reminding me that love is what matters. Love that is patient, kind and not self-seeking.

Sure, faith-based wall art could be considered trite, but let’s not judge. If it encourages me to look inward, if it supports me in stopping to reflect on my part and what I can be, offer, give, then I’ll take it! Yes. Yes.